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Unresolved Parental Issues

Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me. Psalm 27:10

Every day, we hear horror stories of child abuse by their parents. In some cases, children have been murdered, raped, or physically abused by their parents. Last month, a mother drowned her three children in Brooklyn, NY. The New York City Police Department said the mother, Erin Merdy, 30, of Brooklyn was arrested days after the Monday deaths of the children, who were identified by the department and relatives as Zachary Merdy, 7; Liliana Merdy, 4; and Oliver Bondarev, 3 months old.

Unfortunately, such heinous crimes against children by their parents have become too common. Too many of the abuses go unreported yet the victims of those abuses are scarred for life. In many cases, those victims develop chronic psychological and emotional diseases that cause depression and hinder their ability to have healthy relationships with others.

It is not surprising that so many people have unresolved parental issues. That is, one or both of their parents failed them in some way. This failure usually caused unresolved emotional issues that can also have an impact on their relationship with God. Indeed, because so many people have been forsaken by one or both of their parents in some way, they struggle to have a relationship with God as their heavenly Father.

The good news is that God knows our individual stories. He sees our pains and identifies with our struggles. He is a patient Father who meets us where we are and treats us with the type of lovingkindness that only He possesses. He invites us to bring all our unresolved parental issues to Him so He can give us rest (Matthew 11:28).

God is not like any earthly parent. God is patient and kind. He does not abuse or dishonor His children. God is not easily angered and keeps no record of wrongs. He always protects, always loves, always provides, and always forgives.

Now that I’m an orphan, I have a heightened sense of appreciation for Psalm 27:10. God’s parental love has sustained me all the more since both of my earthly parents died. Every time I start to feel forsaken by my parents, the Lord gives me a fresh dose of His comforting grace to uphold me every morning.

To those who have been abused or forsaken by their parents, I suggest you give God a chance. God does not only want to be your heavenly Father, He also wants to be a friend who sticks closer than a brother. The Lord is a shelter in a time of storm, a deliverer, a healer, and the lover of our souls. Whatever our parental issues may be, we can trust God to be a loving and dependable Father. He will never let His children down.

Our heavenly Father may correct us, but He will never condemn or abuse us. At times, the Lord may not give us what we ask of Him, but that does not mean He has forgotten about us or forsaken us. The Lord does not treat us as our sins deserve. “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18)

So, give God a chance and you will discover that He is that loving, dependable, and faithful parent you deserve. Cry out to Him in your distress and He will meet you at your point of need. Invite Him into your heart so His peace can saturate your soul and His joy will give you strength and hope.

Questions for Personal Reflection

What unresolved parental issues do you need God to help you with?

What are the benefits of having a relationship with our Father in Heaven?

Prayer- Blessed Lord, I thank you for being my heavenly Father. May your comforting grace continue to sustain me as you draw me closer to you. When I feel forsaken because I am an orphan, please remind me that you will never leave me nor forsake me (Hebrews 13:5).

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